08.30.01-2:06 a.m.>

Well the bad news is....

1-Not even Mr. "I have lots of useless knowledge" Darren knows how I can get tickets to the drive thru show. All that awkward conversation and he didnt even know !! What a waste of my energy at this time of night.

2-Summer is winding to a close.

3-I have a bad headache

4-Im getting old

5-This past week has sucked with the exception of an interview I had that I think went well

6-I've been generally really down since Saturday night when I finished rereading Perks of Being A Wallflower on the bitter end of the train ride home from the show. The end of that book just kills me.

Maybe thats it, I dont know what it is.

I miss the Lori Beth.

I miss everyone and everything that keeps me happy lately.

I just feel so far away from things, but Im trying to stay focused.

Because next week it all starts again.

I just heard they put a bigass food court in at Nassau, right beneath the CCB, and I heard there's a friendly's. Friendlys is the bestest.

I hope Lori decides to come home for the Ben Folds show. I'd really like to be able to share it with her.

Sometimes I just wish we were closer.

Lori and I, because we've been friends since 8th grade, and we're so much alike, and we have the bestest times together. Hell,our senior year we were virtually inseperable in the hallways of LHS. But we were never like sleepover friends, or like, invite them over for dinner friends.

Sometimes its like, you just have to understand that people need to be at a distance from other people for them to feel safe. I kinda accept that with my friend, thats how she is. And I'd really like her to remain in my life, so I dont pry.

But sometimes, I just wish we were closer,because theres so much I'd tell her, but instead, I tell the internet. Sometimes I just wish I could hug her. But we're both very non confrontational so theres alot that goes unsaid.

Its really hard.

Right now, I'd say

Hey Lori,

I miss you, how's school at GWU ? I hope everything's good, and you're having fun, Im really excited about the handful of upcoming shows Im going to, and Im really geeked about Tenacious D and Ben Folds, I just watched High Fidelity today, and that Jack Black is purdy. I had an interview yesterday for a teller position at the bank of new york, and I met with the branch manager today, and shes going to call and set up training. It should be good for me. I cant wait for school to start to fill the empty space in my day. I cant wait for November to hurry up and happen so you'll be home and we can see Harry Potter. I cant wait for Rockin' The Suburbs to finally come out. I miss you. Or maybe I miss how silly we used to be back in the day, are we still like that ? So I hope you're all settled in right good down there, and I hope that you're happy, you really deserve it. No dashboard reference at all, I promise. You do really deserve it. Boys are so weird Lori. I went to the Reggie show on Saturday, I dont remember when you said you were going, but I had a really good time at mine. I have this uneasy feeling in my stomach, like I said something wrong, not to you, I dont even know who to, but Im just feeling really self conscious these past few days. I get paid tomorrow, and Im happy about that, its going to New Clothes Fest 2001 this weekend. Color Me excited. Well I hope all is well, with you and your family, and I hope I get to talk to you soon, because you always make me smile. And I know that sometimes I'm mean, and critical. But you're very important to me and I just want to let you know that.

I just wanted to let you know I've been thinking about you.

Your Pal

Melissa.

ps so far Mike,Jeffy, and Janea are the only ones who love me enough to be part of my cast page. I see how it is diaryland, I see how it is