12.19.01-11:12 p.m.>

So Im starting to wonder what a friend is...

what phone calls

past midnight

to different area codes

really mean

and whether or not

you really even want

to remember a time period

when my name meant something

and would it be easier

if I hated you.

Is that the way

you want it

if I told

you hurt me

Would it be simpler

for you that way.

Then I guess

you could go away

and feel ok

you could shrug and sigh

and say oh well

and forget that I care

and that I remember

that IM HUMAN

and that it hurts

so much to know

that Im not a part

of your life

and things are different now

but that shouldnt mean

you get to throw this away

throw me away

because Im not a bad friend

Im forgetful

and loud

and dramatic

and naive

and helpless

but I am not

a bad friend

and what gives you

the right

to treat me

the way you do.

Saying things

you said you didnt mean

but would never bring up

unless you really meant them

am I dead to you ?

Is that fair ?

keep your holiday

and your sarcastic remarks

and your empty promisese

and casual hellos

Im sick of seeing you

in fifteen minute intervals

"Im waiting for blood to flow to my fingers I'll be alright when my hands get warm?"