05.11.02-6:00 p.m.>

we're all making plans, plans to be with people, plans to get away from people, plans to be by ourselves and we're all ruled by this silly concept of time, with the sun in the morning and the moon at night. We rise to our feet, and do the miserable little dance that takes us from car to school to work to home to bed to shower to eat to sleep, the same basic motions sandwiched between morning and night.

I wind up in my bed at the end of the day physically incapable of sleeping because at night, its just me, not to say that I'm lonely (whether or not I am is besides the point here) but more to say that when we (and by we I quite clearly mean Me[e]) are faced with the fact that we are left completely alone it is extremely frightening. When you realize that you have absolutely nothing to deal with but yourself in the end, its really ridiculously scary.

I am afraid of Me....

because I am endlessly unmotivated and stubborn.

because I am nervous,and worrysome.

-

"The problem with death is that you have

some hundred years

and then they can

build building on your only bones

100 years and then your grave is not your own

we lie in our beds, and our graves

unable to save ourselves

from

the quaint tragedies we invent

and then undo

from the stupid circumstances

we slalomed through"-a