06.21.02-1:18 a.m.>

I had this nightmare this past week, where he sat outside in the yard burning his mattress,as if to prepare for an exit, as he then committed suicide,by taking handfuls of every pill he could find in the house, and I found him, close to death on our parents bed, knowing what he'd done, and he begged me not to call 911,and I told him how sorry I was that I couldnt help him, and sorry I was for letting him die,and how sorry I was for being so uncontrollably odd, and how much I loved him, and I held his hand,

and watched him slip away

fucked up shit,right ?

I woke up in tears,shaking.

I so need a dream interpretor.