01.23.03-10:06 p.m.>

I have not written here in quite some time, its true.

I figured I'd throw an "I still exist" out to you all.

So yea...

I still exist !

I found my journal from when I was 17 today. I read through it and promptly threw it away *shudddders*. Sometimes I wonder what it is thats happened to me between then and now. Not externally so much, because I know detail by detail everything that has happened to me. Im not suffering any repression, I swear. I just dont really have the capacity to wrap my brain around what it is that has me this way. Im not even entirely sure whats thats supposed to mean. But there are differences now, that very few if any would notice.

Like something out of a commerical.

I received a letter over the weekend while I was away.

I came home to find it sitting on my chair in my room. staring at me in an invitation sized envelope. Though for reference, it was not an invitation. I guess it would be wrong to reveal the contents of the letter, or even the name of its sender, but it was very touching. It put many things into perspective for me. I have the ability to do SOMETHING. We all do. Everyone does something to fill their time, but what percentage of the general population are putting their potential to use to do SOMETHING.

I guess they'd fall into the minority.

Do I want to fall by the wayside, and become part of an indifferent silently suffering mass doing something which is essentially nothing?

More importantly...can you live your life without leaving your fingerprints or you signature or something ultimately definining,on something important to be found ?

I dont know that I can.

Anonymity is overrated.

Why do you think it is that Im semi obsessed with this diary I keep ?

Long story Longer...

This letter,

made me realize,

that I cannot settle for never brushing up against something potentially great.

And now people are yelling and being retarded in my house, so I must go, because the stupidity is driving me insane.